Sunday, November 06, 2005

From The Desk

Greetings

Many of you maybe wondering about when I was going to tell you about how my portrayal of Commander Valiant has been going and to answer it is going spendidly. I believe I'm relaxing his character a bit; he now has an additction to npr, ho ho's, and routinely cheats on his Boy commando (didn't know that didi you). I had him start a fight with Captain America (which while he is both 85 and retired) he still has the strength and muscle power when he first started so it wasn't fun. Don't worry I had a quick body switch with the good Commander. I also had him get caught sleeping with little May Parker aka Spider-Girl (you never want to see old Peter get crunk never) There is also those little bugs he left in the Avengers' computer sytem. I should explain how I took over but it is too complicated for your infantile minds (much like a certain Fed County reject). I also want to take this time to anouce my seperation from my wife Indira aka Shiva I still love her and respect her but she feels that my affair (which I must state happen years before I met Indi) is too much. You know even super-villains need love; even we need someone to cuddle us and tell that we will one day rule the world or at least Scandinavia.

I want all of you to know that I will discuss why I had a missing period and why Dr. Victor vonDoom is both a little sniveling bitch with no redeeming values, a cross dresser, but he is also an incompetent scientist.

I recieved a number of letters from perspective villains asking what are the characteristics for a proper super-villain; so I wikkied the query and here are some facts from wikipedia

  • A desire to commit spectacular crimes and/or rule the world through whatever means necessary
  • A generally irritable and spiteful disposition
  • A sadistic nature and tendency to revel in their sociopathic behavior
  • A brilliant scientific mind that he or she chooses to use for evil (see also mad scientist and evil genius).
  • A tendency to speak in proper English with an extremely controlled, formal manner to demonstrate their intellect and superiority (a trait parodied by Family Guy's Stewie).
  • Superhuman abilities or some special skill, similar to those of superheroes
  • An enemy or group of enemies that he or she repeatedly fights
  • A desire for revenge against said enemies. The method of their revenge often goes beyond simply killing them to making them suffer before death such as using deathtraps. This tendency to prolong their enemies' deaths is often an instrumental part of why the supervillain fails to kill their foes.
  • A dark and threatening-looking headquarters or lair, the location of which is usually kept secret from police, superheroes and the general public. However, some supervillains, who feel secure from prosecution for their crimes live and work in palatial buildings. Examples include Doctor Doom's castles in his country of Latveria and Lex Luthor's LexCorp office buildings.
  • A theme by which he or she plots his crimes. For example, Two-Face plots his crimes around the concept of duality and Mysterio plots his around movie special effects.
  • Although super villain “team-ups” occasionally occur and some supervillain teams exist (such as the Legion of Doom and Sinister Six), most supervillains do not collaborate with one another but employ a team of simple-minded and expendable henchmen to assist them.
  • A strong commitment to their criminal profession to the point where they will quickly resume their activities in their favourite area immediately after escaping prison or recovering from serious injury.
  • A back story or origin story that explains how the character transformed from an ordinary person into a supervillain. The story usually involves some great tragedy that marked the change. In the case of many supervillains, including Dr. Doom, Magneto and, in some incarnations including the television series Smallville, Lex Luthor, this story involves a one-time friendship with their future foe.
  • A general contempt for ordinary civilians, lackeys, and basically anyone who gets in their way.
source (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supervillain)


BlogWar 2.0 (this is done for entertainment purposes only; Marcus Seaberry is a friend and his site View From the Middle is a great site check it out at http://mseaview.blogspot.com/ )

Some fact on Marcus Seaberry:
1 is a closet fan of Cat Stevens
2. has a fetish for women who sing like Minnie Ripperton
3. sometimes wears Hello Kitty bodyspray for women
4. due to a breakdancing accident, has a permanent George Jefferson B4 grade limp

* Comming this summer Junior Dictators a group that teaches children responcibility and civility

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

A Very Special Mad Black Super Villain Episode

Dear Sirs and Madame,

I've been hearing a lot from the public on my exploits and I have cherished the feedback but some of you have been complaining about the timliness of my entries and dare I say there quality! Now I am not above criticism, far from I'm an approacable villain (now try this with someone like that pussy Doom and he will give you the whole how dare you line aand try to dissenticrate you). However, I must put an end to this for I have been to generous with my time and my plans. Let me begin with that I mean this as no insult but I am a SUPER VILLAIN, note the last word it's important for this means I do not follow the proper rules of society. I create elaborate plans to increase my coffers and control the world. I am not a nice man, I wear and create elaborate armour and devices to meet this purpose. I fight and torture super heroes for pleasure and profit; I turn out your children to do my bidding. I don't give a hot damn if you think my speelling is atrocious or that I don't post enough; I am a busy man; I mean damn how easy do you think it is to maintain a cover and keep my family life together, it ain't easy. And this whole villainy business requires hard work, training, deep planning, and a commitment to evil. Now I am tired of you bitches moaning; I thought we had made a truce; that we let shit slide but no you got to come round and make bullshit comment about my site; now sit thee the fuck down and shut thee the fuck up.

This means you Mr. Seaberry, you and that little decrepded dog too; the Blog war is back ON!!!